Okay..so i dont htink i'm angsting but i do need to vent a little i suppose. i'm just tired. really tried. mentally, physically everyhthing. i'm 'happy i'm sad i'm 'angry i'm useless i'm all kinds of confusing things i dunno. my days are kinda...bleh. i sleep at awkward times, wake up, dont eat, play the game, clean...clean clean clean clean clean, work and theni return to a mess that i must clean once more. and theni game.. see fallen for a bit, she sleeps and then i game more..and i rinse and repeat. i'm becoming a souless housefrau it seems. i dont do anything and alli can think of righ tnow is clean..clean...clean clean clean..i haven't drawn anything decent in over two or some odd months. ijust started drawing again. i feel like crying, i feel like screaming i feel like throwing a styrofoam cup at a wall and scream at refidgerators. i hate it,becasue it feels like sometimes, i dont even know who i am any more *le sigh* i could be off worse..but i could be better. at the moment? i'm sleepy and pouty because the only thing on my mind...is clean clean clean clean clean clean but it doens't matter how hard i try to clean a mess that isn't mine..i'tll never be clean and it'll go unnoticed to blind eye. Maybe i should do more cleaning? i don't know..it doens't matter too much, it'll go unnoticed but then..it won't you knhonw..i need to be acknowledged and i dont want to be acknowledgeed, and i wanted to be noticed and i dont' want to be noticed and i want to clean and i want to stop and i want torest and relax but i dont want to do anythkng. i just want to wallow ins ome form of dispair..hmmm...


^^ i'm still happy sashie, i'ms till bright idiotic monkey girl, i just had to have a...Hmmm moment you know? that moment where i slip away from m yhappy and rant...?angst? i dunno what you'd like to call it, but i feel better now. a little ^^

i has a ne job and stuff and its better htan my old and i has a tablet and a pony ((not really)) but i did get a new big stuffed panda named bob 2 who loves my shampoo the whale! ^^ i've been haning out with my beloved friends and spending alot of time at home ((obviously)) and stuff. and i'v ebeen oplaying FFVII like nobody's business...CAUSE ITS NOT, JUST MY OWN heehee. and i've been drawing again. i likes drawing. its nice..hmmm...thass about it..no net means no devi for teh deviant. i miss everyone, and i appreciate eveyone who's faved a picture of mine or add me to their watch list. its difficutl to try and thank you all sepeately with little time and slow computers, but i really do appreciate it. if it weren't for you guys doing so and my belvoed friends beating me with packs of papers, pens, and pencils, i wouldn't be where i am today. so thank you alll!!!!i'd go nude for you but tha's illegal...somewhere..so i'll show you my ankle!! heehee ^^ i really do feel a little better..i think i'll go hug a wall now..causwe walls need love too

i love you guys!!! once again, thank youy!!